Every breath I take...

Now what should the next line be?

I am grateful for? Well of course.

Is surprisingly inadequate? Yes, that too of course.

Took a lot of effort? Yes, well naturally. I have severe COPD.

The only point I am making perhaps is that when the dreaded exacerbation arrives it is always a shock. This time I had a cold. Nothing special but for us COPD types any cold is special. This one really hit home.

I took anti-biotics and they did work - a bit. But since the last event (an amazing year ago) I have been diagnosed with potential congestive heart failure just to add to the mix. And with a high BP and pulse it does not take much to kick me over into that dreadful feeling of panic when you find you are not in control; that you are fighting for air, not just gasping.

So onto the steroids now to add to the diuretics needed for the ticker.

I know that this is how it goes. I am 77, I was diagnosed with emphysema and bronchiectasis 12 years ago and am now number 4, severe ,on the FEV1 scale. I have strained the ticker for too long now and it is showing signs of needing an MoT, except that is not available.

I am teetering on the brink of oxygen. I resist since it is too much of a signifier of the end game but I shall have to comply in due course. The idea of so many hours a day stuck in a groove is not appealing.

This year has been hard for us all of course. Coronavirus has changed our last years much for the worse. Shielding was hard for me and my wife, my carer. I started out logging all that went on. The old hack in me wanted to and my blog , One Man Went to Moan, started to fill up. Then I despaired of it all - the mess of PPE, the cruelty of the care homes, the criminal corruption of contracts, a Government of ineptitude and carelessness. I gave up.

I just checked at tottenhamtyke.blogspot.com/ and July 27 was my last effort. Few read it anyway.

Now I am trying another dose of anti-bs, steroids and sitting still. At least I can type. To carry on the song theme, They can't take that away from me.